This is a beautiful story about a troubled young man who looks for solace
in distant realms. He spent is early years fixated on making contact with
aliens in distant galaxies, little knowing that they were visiting rural America
on a regular basis. 50% of Americans swear on the bible that they believe in
UFOs. 20% claim they have seen them. 10% claim to have been abducted
by them, and disturbingly, 9%(almost all abductees) claim to
have been subjected to an anal probe during their stay on the mother ship.
For those of you who are sceptical by nature, this may seem preposterous,
but if you bear me out you will come to see that there is a perfectly natural
explanation for this strange seemingly phenomena. On hearing these outlandish
stories from the victims themselves, who appear more than willing to share their
traumatic experiences on prime time television, one cannot but wonder:
Why on earth would these beings travel across the vast expanse of the universe
just to look up your arsehole?
But if the latest advances in micro-biology are anything to go by, the colon is
actually the centre of the universe. l assume these inter-galactic adventurers
are some form of micro-organism, who are merely visiting old friends who
happen to inhabit another body on another planet.