/* Style Definitions */
{mso-style-name:”Table Normal”;
mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;

Liberal Party

( Big L liberals, not small l liberals, actually Big C conservatives)



More money for everything (especially goals)

More everything for everyone

Lower taxes

More services

To do all the things we forgot to to do this time

“A week is a long time in politics, but 4 years seems to whizz by in no time”

– Dennis the Menace

Not to break any promises, especially the promises we broke last time

 “Cross my heart and hope to die – l swear on my puppy’s grave” – Denis the Menace


Local content targets for major infrastructure project (Alas, though their targets are big, their aim is poor)

More jobs than the Labor Party promises, to replace a small portion of the jobs lost over the last 4 years

More Police, transit police, prison guards, security guards, attack dogs, surveillance, etc., etc.

To get tough on crime:

         Harsher sentences

More mandatory sentences

          More prevention (We will lock up the miscreants BEFORE they commit the crime)

         Less parole

         10 year minimum for a ‘coward punch’ (exemption for sitting M.P.s)

More public transport than the Labor Party promises

To build more hospitals and schools than we did this time(not very difficult)

To build more goals than we did this time (quite difficult)

Not to finish building Castlemaine Secondary College (as this was a Labor idea in the first place and will only make them look good)

To decrease the cost of ambulance cover (by under paying Ambos)

Cut work cover premiums (and entitlements)

Cut payroll tax (by cutting pay)

Sell all our profitable assets (to our mates)

Taller skyscrapers (taller than the Labor Party’s)

More high density housing in Labor strongholds

More goals in Labor strongholds

Less high density housing in leafy eastern suburbs

More, bigger, longer, taller, wider bridges, canals, light houses, piers, phone towers, stadiums, golf courses, race tracks, goals and anything we can think of.

More roads, bigger roads, better roads, wider roads, longer roads

More, bigger, better, longer, darker tunnels

Less potholes 


Environment –Recurrent funding for ghost Landcare groups

(can be recycled indefinitely – very green)


Climate Change, what climate change?




This  data has been extracted from the Liberal party website (not entirelly verbatim – be especially suspicious of sections in parenthesis)



I am a fearless reporter who has recently been sacked from News of the World due to wishy washy. namby pamby, bleeding heart, bed weting liberals banging on about Ethics, whatever they are. I try to offend as many people as possible but in the words of some great orator, "you can offend some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but youcant offend all of the people all of the time".

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: