L.D.P. policy

Liberal Democratic Party

(not to be confused with the Liberal Party, who are neither liberal, nor democratic)

 

This party is by far THE most consistent an easiest to decifer of all the myriad parties lusting for Power at this election.

Their basic philosophy can be summed up by the idea of the less government interference in our lives the better. This may appear at first blush to resemble the Anarchist philosophy, but there is one significant difference, and that is the right to bear arms and defend your property from those who have none.

Support:

Gay Marriage, and any other marriage for that matter.

Small Government

Free Trade

The Free Market

Voluntary Euthenasia

Legalisation of Pot

Citizen Initiated Referenda

Recall Elections – Where citizens can gather together and demand a re appraisal of a particularily unscrupulous

Voluntary Voting (One must be very careful here as your very own supporters are likely to be the first to take up their new-found freedom and neglect to vote, thus contributing to a significant erosion of your most vital support base)

Vouchers for school kids ( unlimited government funding for elitist schools)

Oppose:

No criminalization of victimless crimes.

Definition: activities in which the participant is the only person likely to suffer adverse consequences. Such as:

Dangerous and unwise actions such as failing to wear a seatbelt or helmet, BASE jumping and bungy jumping.

Pornography involving adults by adults (with safeguards to protect children).

Abortion – other than late term abortions where the foetus would be viable if born naturally.

Prostitution involving adults.

Assisted suicide where a free and informed choice has been made.

Public nudity and fornication

Smoking Pot

 

Government ownership of the A.B.C., S.B.S. or anything else for that matter

(Let more qualified people like Mr. Murdoch look after that)

No subsidies – No buts

No foreign aid (awe, that’s a bit mean isn’t it )

No controls on gamboling

Suicide- the only crime where the act is legal but the accomplice is a criminal

 

No government education beyond year 12 (Turn in your grave, Gough)

No Government emasculation of trade Unions.

 

All of these positions share the common principle of decreasing the role of government. They differ from “left-wing” people who often want the government to control the economy but not our social lives, and from “right-wing” people who want the government to control our social lives but not the economy.

 

As we can see, it is quite easy to second guess the Party line on any particular issue, thus doing away with the many shocks and surprises of modern politics.

Ah, if only life was that simple.

 

This data has been extracted from the L.D.P. website (not entirelly verbatim – be especially suspicious of sections in parenthesis)

 

 

 

I am a fearless reporter who has recently been sacked from News of the World due to wishy washy. namby pamby, bleeding heart, bed weting liberals banging on about Ethics, whatever they are. I try to offend as many people as possible but in the words of some great orator, "you can offend some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but youcant offend all of the people all of the time".

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