The 11th Day of September 2001 – The day the earth stood still!

Where one nut-job’s shenanigans creates mass confusion that persists to this day.

On this very day some 20 years ago the Australian people learnt that the our American friends don’t write their dates in chronological order like the rest of the world over; as in, days become months, months become years. No, our American friends like to write them all back-to-front, for some inexplicable reason known only to themselves – as in 9/11/2001. That is not the 9th of November, as any normal person in the real world would assume. The rest of the human race find this quirky habit annoying to say the least. It can even have catastrofic consequences, like planes flying way off-course and such like.

Now why on earth would those crazy Yankis go and do a damn fool thing like that?

One can only presume that they enjoy creating general confusion.

But the real reason they do it is because they can!

Our American friends are after all, God’s gift to the human race, are they not?  So they can do as they damn-well please!

….and they do.

They believe themselves, by-and-large to be exceptional in all aspects of human endeavor.

El Numero Uno! Their God has told them on numerous occasions, and l quote this verbatim;  “You are my gift to humanity. I personally grant you ‘carte blanche’ to do what ever you want, whenever the fit ceazes you”

…and so the fit does ceaze them, doesn’t it?

…..the rest of us? Well we can; “go stick your head up a dead bear’s bum”.

(that is not a quote from God Almighty, by the way, just to iron out any confusion)

“All you lesser mortals the world over can come to what ever consensus you like about how to measure size, weight, distance, temperature and days of the month, but you are not a unique and superior nation, and we are”. – Abraham Lincoln -1899

Osama Bin Liner thought it was time that particular brand of hubris and arrogance was taken down a peg or two.  A lesson in humility, you might say. Not that Osama was entirely devoid of hubris and arrogance himself mind you, nor was he very humble, or subtle.

But oh boy, he sure knew how to put on a show, didn’t he?

The one guy in all the world who could make reality more spectacular than a 500 million dollor Hollywood blockbuster. Now that is no mean feet. Actually it was a bit mean really, wasn’t it?

( l remember a kid in the fish-and-chip shop saying to his mum;

“Wow, what movie is that? Can we get the video?”

– for all you youngsters, videos are what we had before Netflix.)

It goes without saying, but l will say it anyway, that l do not condone Osama’s actions in any way, shape or form, but we have to admit, it certainly gave the powers-that-be pause for thought.

Our American friends were truly humbled by the shocking and awesome attack, for several days if not weeks, (cynics say they were just numb) before they brushed the dust from their hair, regrouped and began to recklessly dispense their bloody revenge.

And my oh-my-God, what a blood-bath it has been.

Shock and awe from-arsehole-to-breakfast-time!

So here we are 20 years later, and once more our American friends are indulging in a brief moment of humility before they start yet another reckless adventure.

-Stay tuned for the next exciting episode!

Ben Boyang      – 11/9/2021

l searched the interweb for funny memes but it was all either memes saying; Don’t make fun of the 9/11 attacks, or endless streams of ‘Truthers’ saying it was all an inside job.

A Truther is – one who believes that the truth about an important subject or event is being concealed from the public by a powerful conspiracy. Or to put it another way – one who finds it impossible to accept the truth – a nut-job. Unless of course it is one of those rare occasions when the conspiracy is true, but they are few and far between.

The best meme l came up with after scouring the world-wide-web was one wite here in Sleepy Hollow.

The creation of our very own resident humourist extra-ordinare, one Sir Leslie Thornton Esquire, no less.

This exquisite piece of craftspersonship commissioned for the 50th year celebration of

that great Ozy Icon and local invention, the Chicko roll – a Vegan favourite!

A tastless work in more ways than one.

___________________________________________________________

I am a fearless reporter who has recently been sacked from News of the World due to wishy washy. namby pamby, bleeding heart, bed weting liberals banging on about Ethics, whatever they are. I try to offend as many people as possible but in the words of some great orator, "you can offend some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but youcant offend all of the people all of the time".

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