Greens Policy



The Greens win the prize for the most number of policies, having policies on every conceivable facet of human existence, far too many to list here.

For the full list go to

(make a pot of tea and cancel all appointments)

It is probably a lot easier to clarify what policies the Greens do not have.

Contrary to popular belief , they do not, as a general rule, eat babies,

nor do they advocate handing out free heroine to school children.

For a general appraisal of the Greens it is germane to quote Abraham Lincoln-

“The Greens are as pure as the driven snow”


Note on preferences:

As you may well be aware, the Greens, after favoring their favorites, are giving their preferences to Palmer in the upper house. At first blush this may seem to tarnish their image of purity, that particular party being firmly ensconced in the bosom of the right. But their rationale is clear and unequivocal:

It is of vital importance to frustrate the efforts of either member of the duopoly (Lib/Lab) from gaining a majority, as this would mean no more ‘balance of power’, and take all the fun out of the bun fight this is shaping up to be.




At this juncture, I feel it only right and proper to divulge that I happen to be a card carrying member of the Greens, but l ask you not to hold that against them.

“An idea cannot choose its followers’ – The Great Leader (Kim Il Sung, not Clive Palmer)


l am also at pains to point out that the onions expressed in this diatribe are my own personal views.

Any similarity to Greens official policy is purely coincidental.


I am a fearless reporter who has recently been sacked from News of the World due to wishy washy. namby pamby, bleeding heart, bed weting liberals banging on about Ethics, whatever they are. I try to offend as many people as possible but in the words of some great orator, "you can offend some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but youcant offend all of the people all of the time".

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