Ben's Blog

June ’24

From the early 20^th century when rabbits were first introduced, up until the 1950s, rabbits were a staple part of our diet here in Australia. For blackfellas it was a key source of income. We turn our noses up at the prospect. But some folks like to keep up the old traditions of yesteryear. If they happen to run over a bunny, they pop it in the boot, then pop it in the stew.

Now as we are all too aware, the Capitalist system is crumbling all around us. Productivity is plummeting, economic growth, the holy grail of the money cult, is declining inexorably, and will soon dip into the red.

Meanwhile we are cutting down the forests at an alarming rate, to grow cows, as the existing paddocks that already cover almost every inch of this vast continent, bring ever more meagre returns. Not to mention those methane burps that ruin the  climate.

The time has come for the humble rabbit to fulfil its rightful place in our diet. No need to farm them. They breed like Catholics on amyl nitrate whenever they come across a soft patch of grass to roll in.

Here is the plan: We grow some blackberries on the side of the road. We grow some carrots on the other side. The rabbits will take up residence in the blackberries and cross the road to eat the delicious carrots. On the way to work we drive slowly and bimp the horn, but on the way home we drive fast and erratically, hoping to squash our dinner. If we score a direct hit, we may even gut the animal in the one fell stroke. (Advice – do not, what ever you do, drive directly at your prey, instead swerve around it and it will most likely change direction and run under your wheel.

The next phase of the operation can be somewhat gruesome, the skinning and butchering of your dinner.

Please allow me to tell an amusing anecdote on the topical topic of rabbit skinning. (a lost art, sadly) I once cut my thumb quite badly skinning a rabbit. So bad I went to the doctor. Waiting in the waiting room, the world weary old codger next to me said, “do want to know how to skin a rabbit in 10 seconds with your bare hands?”

“Yes I do!”

“You snap the back legs and pierce the skin with the sharp broken bone, then you can get your fingers in there and rip the entire skin off right down to the head. You then twist the head right off, and voilà! A skinless rabbit carcass, ready for the pot.” ( personally, I prefer my rabbit quick fried like kangaroo. Cut the meat off the bone and give it just a minute either side and it’s ready to eat. The rest can go in the pot.

Ben Boyang 2024